My deepest condolences on your loss. Words feel inadequate, and like your friend I cannot empathize, but I do sympathize. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, this was very moving. Take care.
I appreciate that, Devin, thank you! I am making an effort to frame my feelings and thoughts in narrative as much as I can, my own form of therapy. Hope you're well!
I think we can empathize more than your friend thinks, or maybe this is just the limitations of language and he does in fact think this, but a better way to say this is that we can't always empathize *perfectly* with another person's experiences when they fall outside the realm of our own. We might not know precisely what the situation is like, or how best to cope, but we have correlations/similar situations that allow us to empathize imperfectly, up to a point. I do agree that sometimes our own lives are so full of stressors that we decide not to have the time or bandwidth to fully empathize. And there are extreme cases like sociopaths. But generally speaking, I think it's about allowing empathy to be the range or sliding scale that it is, rather than a binary we can/we can't.
Oh, and condolences for all the loss. I haven't yet lost either parent, but the day is unquestionably approaching, sooner rather than later. And I know I not ready.
I really like what you said -- "sliding scale that it is rather than a binary we can/we can't." I think that there's a lot of validity to that and maybe his statement was based on the direct correlation of having not lost a parent versus actually losing one. But back to your view of it -- finding correlation, no matter the degree or exact likeness is key and is a part of the effort that we all probably should make for each other. Good stuff! Thanks for responding. Hope you're well!
I definitely feel you bro... My dad passed away 10 years ago and it was cancer that took him in just 3 months. Even if the circumstances were different any of those kind of losses are so deep and intrinsic to living and loving that I´m glad I can empathize because it would be sadder to have never experience them, even if they still hurt. Much love to you and yours my friend.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts, and please accept my condolences on your loss. I do feel like I can empathize, though my father's passing was 19 years ago after a long illness, and I'm my mother's live-in caregiver right now. So I think it's fair to say I'm sending both sympathy and empathy your way today. Please be as gentle and as patient with yourself as you can. As you know too well already, this first part is the hardest, while the paradigm shift is still new. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is here for you and rooting for you in every way.
Thank you for your generous and kind words. I’m sorry about your loss and wish encouragement as you take care of your mom. Thank you for sharing this with me.
My deepest condolences on your loss. Words feel inadequate, and like your friend I cannot empathize, but I do sympathize. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, this was very moving. Take care.
I appreciate that, Devin, thank you! I am making an effort to frame my feelings and thoughts in narrative as much as I can, my own form of therapy. Hope you're well!
I think we can empathize more than your friend thinks, or maybe this is just the limitations of language and he does in fact think this, but a better way to say this is that we can't always empathize *perfectly* with another person's experiences when they fall outside the realm of our own. We might not know precisely what the situation is like, or how best to cope, but we have correlations/similar situations that allow us to empathize imperfectly, up to a point. I do agree that sometimes our own lives are so full of stressors that we decide not to have the time or bandwidth to fully empathize. And there are extreme cases like sociopaths. But generally speaking, I think it's about allowing empathy to be the range or sliding scale that it is, rather than a binary we can/we can't.
Oh, and condolences for all the loss. I haven't yet lost either parent, but the day is unquestionably approaching, sooner rather than later. And I know I not ready.
I really like what you said -- "sliding scale that it is rather than a binary we can/we can't." I think that there's a lot of validity to that and maybe his statement was based on the direct correlation of having not lost a parent versus actually losing one. But back to your view of it -- finding correlation, no matter the degree or exact likeness is key and is a part of the effort that we all probably should make for each other. Good stuff! Thanks for responding. Hope you're well!
I definitely feel you bro... My dad passed away 10 years ago and it was cancer that took him in just 3 months. Even if the circumstances were different any of those kind of losses are so deep and intrinsic to living and loving that I´m glad I can empathize because it would be sadder to have never experience them, even if they still hurt. Much love to you and yours my friend.
Thank you, brother for being there. And thank him for sharing your own loss with me. I am sorry for yours as well. Time heals but it doesn’t erase.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts, and please accept my condolences on your loss. I do feel like I can empathize, though my father's passing was 19 years ago after a long illness, and I'm my mother's live-in caregiver right now. So I think it's fair to say I'm sending both sympathy and empathy your way today. Please be as gentle and as patient with yourself as you can. As you know too well already, this first part is the hardest, while the paradigm shift is still new. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is here for you and rooting for you in every way.
Thank you for your generous and kind words. I’m sorry about your loss and wish encouragement as you take care of your mom. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you too. You make me want to write, which I mean in the best possible way.
Beautiful post, Brian
Thanks so much, Mark. For reading it and the kind words.